59 Witty & Funny Wine Quotes That Make Great Ice breakers

Uncork the laughs with this collection of funny wine quotes and cute wine sayings in French and English: perfect for breaking the ice.

By Annie André ⦿ updated January 10, 2024  
Witty and funny wine quotes header image
Witty and funny wine quotes header image

Don’t you hate it when you don’t have anything witty or funny to say?  Sip Sip Hooray! Get ready to be the life of the vineyard! with this list of funny wine quotes and cute wine sayings in French and English. Santé! That’s French for cheers.

Funny Wine Quotes

Funny wine quotes that make great conversation ice breakers

Wine quotes are a lot like beer quotes, only better -said no one ever that loves beer. 

Sit back, uncork and unwind with these silly wine sayings and funny quotes about wine which you can try out on your friends and family at your next get-together.

Wine Quotes For Beer Lovers

Funny beer and wine quote: It takes a log of good beer to make a great wine!

1) “Whoever serves beer or wine watered down, he himself deserves in them to drown.”

-Medieval plea for pure libations

2) “Beer is made by men, wine by God!”

-Martin Luther

3) “It Takes a Lot of Good Beer to Make Great Wine”

Wine Quotes about age

4) “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. “

– Joan Collins, English actress, author, and columnist. 

5) “Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.”

-Pope John XXIII

6) “As you get older, you shouldn’t waste time drinking bad wine.”

– Julia Childs, American cooking teacher, author, and television personality.

7) “Age and glasses of wine should never be counted. “

8) “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the more I like it.”

Wine Quotes about health

9) “Alcohol is a slow killer. I don’t give a damn. I’m not in a hurry.

–Georges Courteline, French dramatist and novelist,

Original wine quote in French “L’alcool tue lentement. On s’en fout. On n’est pas pressés.

Funny wine quote: Alcohol is a slow killer. I don't give a damn! I'm not in a hurry.

10) “I have Novinophobia: The fear of running out of wine.”

Although funny, within the wine drinking community, this is a real phobia and mental disorder “supposedly”. Individuals with this disorder panic when their wine glasses is empty or nearly empty.

11) “Good wine ruins the purse; bad wine ruins the stomach.”

-Spanish saying

12) “Why don’t you wine a bit? You’ll feel better!”

Wine quote: Why don't you wine a bit? You'll feel better

13) “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.”

-Louis Pasteur (original quote: “Le vin est le breuvage le plus sain et le plus hygiénique qui soit”)

14) “A glass of wine is good for your health. The rest of the bottle is good for morale.”

15) Drink wine, feel fine.”

Funny Wine Quotes about drinking

Of course size matters. No one wants to drink a small glass of wine quote

16) “Of course size matters. Nobody wants to drink a small glass of wine. “

17) “The only thing I throw back on Thursdays is a glass of wine. “

18) “I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.”

– This funny wine quote has been attributed to both Julia Child (1912-2004) and American comedian W. C. Fields (1880-1946). But there is no evidence that either of them actually ever said this.

Funny wine quote: I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food/

19) “I just rescued some wine. It was trapped in a bottle.”

20) “Sometimes I take baths because it’s hard to drink wine in the shower.” 

21) “If I ever go missing, I’d like my picture put on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know to look for me. “

22) “What wine goes with Captain Crunch?”

– George Carlin, comedian. 

23) “Drink wine: it isn’t good to keep things bottled up.”

Wine quote: I drink wine because I don't like to keep things bottled up!

24) “I drink wine because I don’t like to keep things bottled up.”

25) “You look like I need wine.”

26) “In dog wine, I’ve only had two glasses.”

27) “A meal without wine is called breakfast.”

28) “Wine is the answer, but I can’t remember the question.”

29) “If you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll end up in a wine bar.”

30) “If one glass of wine is good for you… Just imagine what a whole bottle could do!”

31) “Seven days without wine makes one weak.”

32) “I am not addicted to wine; we’re just in a very committed relationship.”

Wine quote about relationship addiction to wine

33) “I tried running, but I kept spilling my wine.”

34) “I’m not drinking alone, I’m social distancing.”

Wine wisdom quotes

35) “Wine is WIN with an e on the end.”

36) “Wine + winner = WINNER!”

37) “Money doesn’t buy happiness…Unless you spend it on wine.” 

38) “It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more wine.”

39) “Ask not what wine has done for you but rather what you are willing to do for some wine.”

40) “The secret of enjoying a good win: Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. If it does not look like it’s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.”

41) “The most important tool in the kitchen is a corkscrew!”

42) “An empty bottle of wine is better than a filled one. It shows achievement. 

43) “Surviving quarantine, one sip at a time.”

Funny wine quote: surviving quarantine, one sip at a time.

44) “Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.”

– Alexander Fleming, Scottish physician who discovered Penicillin

45) “You know what rhymes with Friday? Wine.”

46) “Drink wine, and you will sleep well. Sleep, and you will not sin. Avoid sin, and you will be saved. Ergo, drink wine and be saved.”

-Medieval German saying

Sarcastic Wine Sayings

47) “I’m one glass of wine away from saying what I really think.”

48) “I drink to make other people more interesting.”

– Ernest Hemmingway, author.

49) “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning, I will be sober, and you will still be ugly.”

– Winston Churchill, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1940-1945

50) “We have an open-door policy… Show up with wine, and we’ll open the door!

51) “I make wine disappear. What’s your superpower?”

Wine quote about superpower

52) “Wine and wenches empty men’s purses.”

-English Proverb

Wine sayings

Alexa pour me some wine poster: print at home download

53) “Alexa, Pour more wine.” 

54) “Make wine, not war!

55) “Wine flies when you’re having fun.”

56) “Carpe Vinum. Seize the wine.”

57) “Girls just want to drink wine!”

58) “Friends don’t let friends wine alone. “

59) “I pair well with wine.”


ps, if you like funny wine quotes, you might enjoy these cheesy French pick-up lines translated in English and French. 

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I get a 'petite commission' at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase through my links. It helps me buy more wine and cheese. Please read my disclosure for more info.

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Annie André

Annie André

About the author

I'm Annie André, a bilingual North American with Thai and French Canadian roots. I've lived in France since 2011. When I'm not eating cheese, drinking wine or hanging out with my husband and children, I write articles on my personal blog annieandre.com for intellectually curious people interested in all things France: Life in France, travel to France, French culture, French language, travel and more.

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