Stereotypes can be confusing-sometimes they are demeaning and hateful while other times thy’re downright complimentary- like the stereotype and strong belief that the French are extremely romantic and amazing lovers, maybe even the best lovers in the world. This “French lover stereotype” is usually associated with men but French women also hold the esteemed title of “being good lovers” -often thought of as “expert seductresses” or “super sexy”. But are these cliches true? Why and how does this belief persist?.
Do you believe the French are great lovers stereotype?
Some of you are probably thinking to yourself “NO, that’s not true or that the French are not THE GREATEST lovers”.I agree, it just seems rediculous but that is not the point I want to make. These stereotypes exist whether they are true or not and they are very strong.
What I find truly amazing is that the vast majority of people who believe the French are great lovers have
- never been to France
- have never met a French person
- have never bedded a French lover
- have probably never even had a second hand account of someone else’s experience with a French lover.
In fact, it’s probably these same people who feel or believe the strongest in this stereotype because they have nothing proving otherwise.
To be fair, it’s not just the French that are considered great lovers. Italians, Latinos and the Spanish are also thought to be expert love makers. I am not sure how or when I first heard these stereotypes. I just know that I know them like I know the sun will rise tomorrow. Just because I know them doesn’t mean I completely believe them. Although it is fun to believe they are true.
My Research process
Since I couldn’t exactly go around sleeping with a bunch of French men to prove or disprove this stereotype, I decided the next best thing was to refer to the source of all knowledge.
“Existing research”
I lucked out and stumbled across a study that was conducted by a company called “Global Search”. Global Search used a polling service called www.onepoll.com and asked 15,000 “well travelled women” to rate the talents of the men they slept with from 20 different countries. The goal was to find out what nationality of men made the WORLD’S BEST and WORST LOVERS. The survey got my attention for sure and some of the results were shocking.
The Results Of The Poll: The worlds best lovers by country
It was no surprise that the women surveyed put French men in the top 4 , just after Italians, Brazilians and Spaniards. Unfortunately the poll did not list why these well travelled women thought these lovers were good. The shocking part of the poll was which nationalities these ladies considered bad lovers and the reasons they gave.
Please do not be offended if the nationality of your lover is on the worst lover list and remember, these are not my beliefs.
The worst lovers according to the poll are Germans. I was shocked because the reasons given were because they were “too smelly”? Uh ok?
Russians were said to be “too hairy”. What? I’m not sure what body hair has to do with being a bad lover but ok whatever.
English were “too lazy”. What? I refuse to think that JUDE Law is a lazy lover. No NO NO it’s not true.
Americans were “too rough”. Hmm this is weird, I won’t
Worlds 20 Best And Worst Lovers
WORLD’S WORST LOVERS: | WORLD’S BEST LOVERS |
| 1- Germany- (Too Smelly) | 1- Spain |
| 2- England- (Too Lazy) | 2- Brazil |
| 3- Sweden – (Too Quick (LOL)) | 3- Italy |
| 4- Holland – (Too Dominating) | 4- France |
| 5- America –(Too Rough (LOL)) | 5- Ireland |
| 6- Greece –(Too Lovey Dovey) | 6- South Africa |
| 7- Wales –(Too Selfish) | 7- Australia |
| 8- Scotland –(Too Loud (LOL)) | 8- New Zealand |
| 9- Turkey –(Too Sweaty) | 9- Denmark |
| 10- Russia –(Too Hairy) | 10- Canada |
Why and How Did This Sex Stereotype Begin?
Ok that was funny and sad at the same time and obviously you shouldn’t take offense or put too much stock into this poll but it still doesn’t change the fact that this dammed stereotypes exists and I still don’t know why it’s so pervasive?
So I dug a little deeper. Not much. Just a little because you really don’t have to look far to find the answer.
Although the root of the “French Lover Stereotype” is hard to pinpoint, if you take a step back and you look at the bigger picture, things become a little clearer.
* NOTE: This is my subjective opinion and you are free to argue with me and tell my my ideas are stupid, I will just ignore you..
MEDIA PORTRAYAL
I’m convinced that one of the biggest culprits for perpetuating the French Lover Stereotype is probably the media. i.e. the news, the movies, high fashion magazine advertisements and even songs.
But out of them all, Hollywood probably has the strongest influence. Hollywood consistently portrays the French in a very romantic light. Movies like
Totally off topic but don’t forget that in the English language, the sensuous act of kissing is called a “FRENCH”
ATTITUDE:
The second culprit to this silly sex stereotype is attitude.
Have you ever met someone who was kind of nerdy? What did you think? Sexy? Good lover? Probably not.
Some nationalities have a certain air about them. The French Have Sex Appeal.
The best way to describe them is they are the opposite of nerdy. They ooze of confidence, not arrogance. I can’t stand arrogant cocky people. I just want to slap those people.
I have heard some people say that the French are arrogant and rude when in fact it is just confidence.
Guess what guys, women love confident men. And ladies, guys love confident ladies. Not overbearing but confident.
CULTURE & THE ARTS
Lastly, the French lover stereotype may be perpetuated by the French culture and arts.
Everywhere you look, the art, the history, the sculptures give you a a sense of the history of the French and invariably it always points to love, sex, romance or heartbreak. War too but even that is romanticized.
What is interesting is in France, you see nude statues, nude artwork everywhere. You don’t even need to go to a museum. Their are nude statues in parks, on buildings. The advertisements used in public show half naked men and women and no one flinches. There is no shame while the same images might make other countries blush.
The French have been exposed to this their whole life. It seems like they are much more comfortable with the human body and therefore must be more comfortable with sexuality? I know plenty of people who have visited France and thought this.
How To Break Stereotypes:
I’m not sure if my theories hold water but It was fun dissecting and I wanted to make a point…..
This time the stereotype was fun and somewhat flattering but many more are not so flattering and down right insulting.
As i said earlier, most of the time, it’s the people who have never come in contact with a French person that believe most strongly in this stereotype. This is true of most stereotypes.
Travelling and Beyond: The benefits
I’m not saying you need to travel to France and sleep with a bunch of French people to find out if a stereotype is true. I’m just saying that one of the many benefits of travelling is that it helps dispel stereotype like this one. Especially negative and racial inspired ones. Travelling lets you meet people from different walks of life and opens your eyes to new ways of living, creates a deeper understanding and more tolerance.
When we are more understanding, we judge less and we also don’t put people into categories because we are all unique and not all the same even if we come from the same place.
This is one of the best lessons I can tech my kids while travelling. Sure there are lots of other ways to break the stereotype cycle but travelling is way more fun. If you can’t travel, pick up a book, watch a documentary. Just educate yourself before you latch onto a stereotype that could be very damaging.
Hey Annie,
Nice article for a fun discussion. I have my share of French men and actually none of them were up to the stereotype :)
The Italians (I met) on the other hand were indeed great lovers (especially those from the Southern part). Even those on one night stand thing. You would be guaranteed with satisfactory experience. Not only the sex (which with them deserved to be called “making love”), they would also go out of their way to ensure your comfort and even if you’re well fed.
I don’t have much to say about other nationalities mentioned on the survey, but if one day you have to choose between a French and an Italian, go for the latter!
P.S.: It was just based on my experience. And please don’t take it too seriously, it’s just a fun talk! :)
Cheers!
I have lots of Laugh while reading your post Miss Annie. Very entertaining, I’ve also read the comments above. A very hilarious post! I don’t think stereotypes is important, either nationality, or the background of a guy you wanted to be on bed with. Just get it on yeah!
I really don’t have any encounter with French lover yet, only English and American.. and I can say it’s proven, Lover from US is just rough, i don’t feel the emotion and passion I’m looking for. And I disapproved the poll on Brit!..as far as I know… He(English lover) was the most passionate and hottest lover I had with on bed. There is the respect, caring and he knows how to treat a girl right! So beware! LOL
Well thanks for this post, I had fun reading this, and for sure will share this one!
Well its true……..it all comes down to personal experiences and whether or not you have come into contact with them in any shape or form.
Hmmm……try not to let everything out of the bag…….. (These are just from personal experiences, i hope not to offend and in no way applies to all men in any particular nationality)
I must say Aussie are more “Bam wham Thank you Mam” or can be quite “gentle”, Croatian Guys are more “Bossy” —- “rough”, Asians –“left utterly disappointed”, Italians (heart breakers – Lied about being married) – “quite touchy with their hands” not as good as some might think, French ” Can talk the talk..hehe lets say “talk the talk and walk the walk” ;).
Though at the end of the day regardless of nationality, its about whether the person treats you right and whether they respect you.
I had a good laugh reading your comment. I absolutely agree with you. in the end, it’s whether the person treats your right and they respect you regardless of nationality. But… it would be nice to have the whole package too. :) wink wink.. :)
Hey Annie thanks, yeah don’t we all want the whole “Package” Wink Wink ;)
Annie one more thing, friends also has advise me “Black” guys knows what they are doing lol
I have yet to encounter a guy who shows me he is not like any other guy. The honest, caring, loving and someone that can be trusted. Though its about the person and not the race or colour.
I’m from the States originally and have been living in the UK for a few years now. I would not know about the British being lazy lovers, because it hasn’t been to that point yet. I find the British to be really cautious and lazy about asking women out. Internet dating is a nightmare of everlasting email exchanges and no coffee dates out. A couple of guys wanted me to take the train to their towns for meeting. When I suggested meeting halfway, they stopped communicating. A beautiful Romanian woman was dating a Brit for a short time and ended it because he was just sitting in her living room in front of the TV with his fly/zip undone, waiting for her to come over from the kitchen and initiate sex. No hugging from behind, no kissing on the neck, like this guy from Australia used to do for me as initiation (Aussies are hot! Ditto for South Africans!). My fellow ex-pat American women complain about the same thing. European women complain about the same thing. Chinese women too. “British men are sooo lazy!” they all complain. I do miss the assertiveness and confidence of american men now. I didn’t have this problem while dating in america, where i was a minority woman in a predominantly white area of the country, where the locals were not really exposed to people of different ethnicities, and still then, I was getting asked out by not-so-travelled white men a lot. I feel that British men are not very confident in approaching women and initiating dates, even though they’re less xenophobic as far as dating women from different ethnic backgrounds and they’re well-travelled too. I observe British women to be dressing extremely provocative while going out at night in bars and clubs, with ultra-loud makeup, skimpy clothes and tall heels, while the other European women are just happy wearing jeans, cute tops and reasonably sensible shoes while going out. The only time British men are confident about interacting with women is when they’ve had too much lager or ale in their system. Anyways, I think the British stereotype of being lazy may hold… at least from my European friend’s perspective where her ex-date was sitting in front of the TV and undid his zippers and was waiting for her to do the rest of the work…
Hi Annie
FUNNY post – with lots of truths in it. we all form stereotypes. i had heard about the French lover prior to my stay in France. Well, errr I was disappointed… even though I did have a French fling with someone younger than me. That was well, sweet :)
I actually find the English quite good lovers ahahha – but don’t tell my fiance!!! :p
Thanks again for the post. really enjoyed reading it. made me laugh all the way
Noch Noch
Noch Noch,
I’m with you, I wasn’t about to kiss and tell all my secret knowledge for fear that ehem someone might read them. I won’t tell your fiance either.. Unless he asks.. :)
Hey Annie,
wow!
I am surprised that Greek lovers are in the list of the worst lovers. In Greece, men believe that they are the best lovers in Europe :P. I have also heard that according to some studies Greeks make love more times than the other European nationalities :p
It is really funny to see all these different beliefs.
Once again, that is what it is said and not what I believe. I believe that if we go to Germany and ask them, they will say another story and they will have a different belief.
As far as the French…well I am very satisfied because my future husband is French and he will be very happy when I tell him about you post and the stats provided :D
Thank you for sharing. I loved that kind of posts!
Lenia,
The study listed Greeks as Too lovey dovey. I’m not really sure why that makes greeks bad lovers to be honest so i wouldn’t put too much stock in the study..
It’s good to know that there are at least some partial truths to the stereotype for you. :)
I think your assessment of where the stereotype comes from is about right. There very well could be more to it than the media, but I think how the media portrays the French helps create this hot lover stereotype.
Like you said, this stereotype isn’t bad, but many others are not good. That’s part of the reason I travel. Another one is to get an American out into the world to disple some of the bad stereotypes about us. Travel can work both ways too to break down stereotypes.
Steve,
you are so right about how travelling can dispel certain stereotypes. Half the time people don’t believe i’m American or Canadian because i don’t look the part (i’m told this a lot). They don’t realize that north America is composed of many different nationalities not just blond haired and blue eyed women from California. LOL..
And i’m all too aware about the “Ugly American stereotype” It’s a good thing you are doing by showing that not all Americans are horrible travellers..
I am always disappointed in people who travel the world and then complain that it is not like they want it to be because it doesn’t feel like home.
They remind me of an ex-girlfriend who told me that it is the man’s job to do all the thrusting and…
Well I don’t want to make anyone blush here so I’ll leave it at that.
Jack,
oh you had me rolling about the ex girlfriend’s expectations.
And you are so right, why complain about someplace when you travel. Of course it’s going to be different. It’s another country…
Awesome stats Annie!
Yes, I did know the French were great lover but never know about the others! I loved the way you listed out all of them – the best and worst, as well as the collection of pictures you gathered for the post.
Yes indeed, I guess when you travel to various places you need to be ready to meet and be around all kinds of people. That makes your trip more worth the while and entertaining too.
Thanks for a fun post and bringing a smile to all our faces. :)
Harleena,
meeting new people does make your trips more interesting for sure..
I’m so glad you enjoyed the post. I got a kick out of writing it.
Annie,
I almost spewed my coffee on my laptop! That list is hilarious! Too hairy, too lazy, too quick. I am laughing thinking of the men I have known (not sexually) and I just laugh at them reading this. Like Alan above me, from England (sorry Alan, you are the only Brit I know, although I would love to get to “know” Jude Law). I was hoping he would contest these findings. All he wrote was pfff.
These surely are stereotypes. I can say, American men differ amongst themselves. Some lazy, quick, gentle etc. And that is all I will say.
Thanks for the laugh!
~Allie
Allie,
I know what you mean. i was amazed when i saw the poll. I was like “WHAT?” are you serious this is too good NOT to write about.. so i did. Besides, sex sells right? lets see if it really does..
And everyone knows JUDE LAW is a great lover. Sheesh…. Lazy lovers, riiiiiight!!
This was an interesting post. I didn’t see any Asian countries in the list. Or are they ‘just average’?
Put all this into perspective. When we blog do we make assumptions that we shouldn’t make? Making assumptions without the right data creates unexpected or unwanted results.
When it comes to travel, you do learn how the cultures live differently. It should give you a heads up that you may experience something different than you planned.
Be well.
Morris,
I thought the same thing. Why didn’t the women get asked about Asian men, or Black men? Maybe they didn’t have enough of a sampling of women who slept with those nationalities? LOL.. I think we all make assumptions and that’s not necessarily a bad thing as long as we stay opened minded to other possibilities, expectations etc.. Travelling is one way to do that.. There are other ways too but travelling is by far my favorite way. :)
Lol great post Annie. Talking about sex in the blogosphere! Cool…
I can’t say I have never had a relationship with a French person so I guess I can’t comment.
I do think it’s more down to personal preference of what you see or perceive to be sexy.
I’m an English guy, I buy flowers for my wife take her out for dinner, buy her presents and surprise her now and then. I surprise her to see her get nervous it’s funny.
Oh and I’m not lazy..
Thanks Annie I always enjoy reading your posts.
Dan
Dan,
I knew i would scare off a few people especially guys with this post. Im so glad you were not one of them..
To be honest, i was actually surprised about the outcome of the poll in regards to English men.
Thanks for stopping by. Love the conversation you add.
Hi Annie,
Well, you know that I was very excited and jumped over to your blog when I saw the title of this post.
Ahahah! Now I don’t know how to say this, but I am French (from France) as you know.
Did I have a couple of boyfriends there? Yep! Do I think as a French person who has actually met one or two French men that they are better lovers than the rest of them? NO! And that’s from a French who lives in the US for a long time :)
Truly, I think that being a good lover and your nationality is a big BS :) As you said all this is “entertained” by the media. Americans, for some unknown reasons to me, think that everything French is romantic, but French themselves don’t even think that way. I am sure you know what I mean by now, living in France, right?
I think, it’s part of the game. French folks, also have made up ideas about Americans.
Thanks for this post and clarifying it all here :)
Sylviane,
I’m so glad you stopped by to clear the air on this one.. You are my authority figure on the matter.
It is all BS isn’t it. Yet people still believe the dream don’t they.. ? It is funny how the French themselves don’t know that they are thought of as super romantic in the eyes of the Americans. And Americans have no idea how they are thought of in the eyes of other cultures either. so i guess it’s all relevant. all the more reason to get to know people of different cultures and places..
Thanks for stopping by.
Ok, I’ll take your challenge; I will go to France and sleep with a bunch of French people, preferably women and hopefully I can get a hall pass from my wife……
Driving along the coast in Nice, I did see topless ladies on the beach; something you normally don’t see on Florida beaches. Whether that makes you a better lover or not, who knows. However, it probably does make you more comfortable in your own skin and less inhibited (my opinion only).
You don’t have to warn me talking about sex and love; why in the heck do you think I showed up……..:).
BTW – I thought the Greeks were hairy….
I think stereotypes have some ring of truth to them, but like you said, it really gets down to what your individual experience is/has been so don’t pre-judge until you walk a mile in their shoes, right?
Bill,
you crack me up. And here i was worried you would take offense… I have a blogger friend who is greek, i will have to ask her if she agrees with you.. So are you saying the Greek women were hairy? Hmmmm dangerous water you are treading on…
I just know there was a guy in the gym we called ‘The Greek’ because of his lineage, and he was one hairy dude……….
I know some Greek women who are total knockouts with nice, smooth, olive skin. I didn’t check their pits, so I’m not sure I could vouch for their hairiness however….:)
OMG Bill, you didn’t check the pits? LOL…
Pfffff.
I don’t believe you.
You don’t believe me what? that i don’t believe the stereotype or that I do believe the stereotype. or you can’t believe i wrote about this?
Sorry, I didn’t see your reply & questions.
I was only kidding really, but the essence of what I was saying was:
pffff!
I don’t believe any of it. I refuse to.
I just want to say that from my experience, much of Annie’s report is true. I travel extensively and some may judge me but yes I have made it a priority to seduce women in the countries I visit and fully appreciate the sexual culture.
German women I have been with, did not seem clean and sex with them felt very clinical. French women are very uninhibited and a lot of them enjoy anal sex, which was a pleasant surprise. The English women were too inhibited and conservative. (and I think the lack of sunlight makes them depressed and moody) Italians and Spanish were my favorite…in fact I fell in love with a Spanish woman who was more conservative than the Italians but she was very passionate and loving.
I would love to hear other travelers share their sexual experiences. (not in detail of course)