Why Am I So Boring? 10 Signs You are Boring The Hell Out Of Everyone And How To Be Less Boring

Are you boring and how to be less boring

If you have ever asked yourself, "why am I so boring?" or wondered "how to be less boring", you're not alone. Sometimes the best way to figure things out is to actively analyze our lives, ourselves and or to seek the advice and examples of others. With that said, here is what years of experiments, trial and error have unearthed for me. I hope my discoveries and tips help you identify some things in yourself and your own life which will help you start to unravel this mystery so that you can get on with your life and start living your life to the fullest.

What makes one person boring and another person NOT boring?  

You’re not supposed to care what other people think but let’s face it…..Some of us (myself included) do care.  You don’t want to bore the hell out of other people or have a life so uninteresting that even YOU find your own life boring.

The problem is, you have no idea how to not be a boring person or how to be less boring.

So what’s the answer?

Now before you start reading, let me first clarify that I AM NOT AN EXPERT on the subject matter of being charismatic and truth be told, I AM NOT THE MOST EXCITING PERSON IN THE WORLD nor will I ever be.

I do however want and wish I could be more vibrant in social situations. Less of a wallflower if you will. Not so much because I care what others think of me, which I actually do but more because I admire charismatic and lively people. I strive to continually evolve and improve myself and this is one way in which I have chosen to do it.

Why Am I So Boring?- My story of being and feeling like a boring person

Trying to be and feel less boring, is an issue which I have struggled with ever since I was a child.  I think worrying if I was boring other people or not must have been what made me so damn shy. Shy to the point where It was debilitating. I would freeze or become silent because I was so afraid of what other people might think of me. Later on in life, as a teenager, it just became normal for me to shrink into the background or act awkward in social settings.

I was the kid who ate lunch alone

I used to dread the bell to eat lunch because I had no friends to eat with. My only and best friends were  two neighbourhood girls. I am not saying I had no friends, because I did. But they didn’t actively seek me out like they did the other kids. I was always forgotten about. If I wasn’t there, no one missed me. No one looked forward to seeing me. I was all too aware of just how boring I was and it bothered me. . I looked on with envy at the other kids who in my eyes were like social honey attracting all the other kids with their sweet and fascinating personalities.

It wasn’t until I was in my late teens and then a young adult when I started to take action and actually try to feel more secure about myself. I did this by actively looking at what other people were doing and de-engineering their personalities and behaviours. I tried to figure out what made them more interesting and tried to adopt or emulate them in one way or another.

Trial and error: Things I have done to  help me feel less boring.

This method of emulating others we admire has its advantages and disadvantage but it will ony take you so far. Feeling like a bore is ultimately a problem of insecurity, something I lacked. I lacked security to just be myself. I let my insecurity, shyness and fear of what others might think of me stop me from getting out there and living my life.

Even today, as a grown woman married with children, I still feel insecure. The difference is, I have learned to and strive to continually improve myself and evolve which helps fight that annoying voice in my head that keeps telling me I am boring.

Whatever I have done or am doing must be working because people who know me today have a hard time believing that I am somewhat of an insecure person or I feel extremely shy and awkward in social settings or that I worry what others think of me- like if I am boring or not.

Mind you, I am still not the life of the party but,  my efforts in trying to be and do more have shaped me into who I am and it has given me the confidence to feel less boring.  I am pretty happy about the life I have led and the life that I will lead going forward.

 Some things which have helped me overcome my insecurities include the following. 

  • In social setting I know how to make small talk. I know what I should and shouldn’t talk about because some things just bore other people.
  • I feel a little accomplished: I have travelled to over 25 countries, including a 3,5 years living in Japan in my early 20’s and more recently libinh in the south of France with my husband and children from 2011 to 2016 as of this writing.
  • I have experienced things during my travels that people only dream of doing which makes me feel special . We all need this don’t we?
  • I have tried new things: new foods and learned new skills that my mind told me I could never do or that I would hate but I ended up loving them after I tried them.
  • I am pretty good at my job and I enjoy it.
  • yada yada yada, blah blah blah.

 

The point I am trying to make is, if you suffer from feeling boring like I did, or you find your life is boring, it is going to take a lot of effort to change that.  You have to really put yourself out there, try to do everything you can and you can’t let fear stop you.  It might take years but you can do it.

But enough about me. I won’t bore you anymore with my story. No pun intended. Here are the top 10 things I have discovered which have helped me feel and be less boring.

10 Signs You Are A Boring Person And How To Be A Less Boring Person?

Are you guilty of any of these?

1-You Talk Non Stop About Things That Only Interest You.

Are you a boring person: You talk about boring stuff all the time

Sign: No one likes to be on a one-sided conversation and nothing screams BOOOORING more than talking non stop about subjects that other people couldn’t care less about. Like your mothers collection of 300 gnomes or how much money you saved using coupons. Sure it can be interesting for about a minute or two but then you move on.

Usually this type of person requires no response. They just start talking and talking with no end in sight.  The listener doesn’t even need to respond. They can just nod their head and say Uhh huh, uh huh. 

Solution: If you notice that you are doing all the talking and the other person has gone quiet, stop talking immediately. Try to engage the other person and ask them questions and just listen.

Conversely, if you are trapped by this boring person, there is not much you can do except excuse yourself abruptly from the conversation. Another tactic might be to change the topic to something equally boring.  Good luck…

2- You Are A Total Downer

to be a boring person you should be totally depressing all the time

Sign: Let’s face it, no one wants to be around downers.

If you’re the type of person who constantly sees the glass as half empty and you talk about really depressing things all the time then you might be depressing and boring at the same time.

I once knew someone like this. I tried to make it work but I was exhausted by our relationship. I had to constantly lift her spirits. Whenever I met her, I was always sad, or sombre and rarely laughed.

Examples of depressing conversation killers

  • “Oh Annie, I wish I was smarter”
  • “Life is so hard”
  • “why does everyone hate me”?
  • “I have no friends”.
  • whaa whaa whaa, oh woes me!!

Solution: If you know a downer in your life, the best you can do is either be blunt with them and tell them how they are depressing you. If you are like me, you will try to be there for this friend for as long as humanly possibly  to support that person. In the end, if their negativity is effecting you than you might have to end the relationship or distance yourself from that person like I had to do.

If it is you who is this type of Debbie downer, consider changing your outlook on life.  Being positive in life will also help lift your spirits. Try to see the positive. What’s that old saying? If life gives you lemons than make lemonade?

3- You Are Really Uptight And Overly Serious

to be a boring person you should be really uptight all the time

Sign: Fun people like to laugh, tell jokes and let loose. It only makes sense that to be really boring you have to be and do the opposite.

This type of person is super RIGID and worried about PROTOCOL. God forbid if they ever let loose.  Here are some examples of really uptight statements.

  • “I’m too mature to do that”
  • “What are all these damn kids doing in this park”
  • “Someone needs to shut that kid up” ( on an air plane during landing a baby is crying)
  • “Don’t bother falling in love, it all ends up in divorce anyways”

Solution: Let loose have some fun. You’ll know you are having fun when you laugh and don’t care who sees.

If you know someone who is uptight and a buzz kill than try to lead by example. Sometimes your upbeat and fun attitude can be contagious.

4-You Complain About Everything

to  be a boring person you should complain about everything

Sign: This type of person sees fault in everything and is not afraid to let you know.

There is no joy or fun in being around someone like this because you feel like you have to walk on egg shells around them.

Here are some great examples of what a complainer might say.

  • “The music is too loud” (it’s almost at the lowest setting)
  • “what’s that horrible smell? “ It’s butter, garlic and shallots in a white wine sauce.
  • “Stop walking on the grass, you are crushing it” (It’s a pique-nique area)
  • “You eat too much”
  • “you never eat” (the next day the same person said this to me)

Solution: I have no idea how to handle this type of venomous personality. In my experience, this person is out to make themselves look or feel good, by seeing the bad in others or putting others down. I usually try to be very careful around this person and I try reducing the amount of time I spend with them. If that is not possible than have a good outlet to recharge and re-boot.

5-You Never Try New Things or Travel To New Placesto be a boring person you should never travel Ever

Sign: Fun, non-boring people tend to do and see a lot of new things. They talk about those things and are so filled with joy because their life is so satisfying.

A boring person doesn’t do much outside of their necessary routine. Work, eat sleep. It’s hard to talk to someone who hasn’t had a lot of experience outside of their normal routine.

Solution: The solution is simple. Get out and do some stuff. Anything. 

 6- You Never Ever Smile

Boring people never smile

Sign: When I think about people who are fun in my life, I picture them smiling, laughing and just being jovial.

When I think of someone boring, I picture scowling faces and furrowed eyebrows.

Which one are you? All Smiles or all frowney?

Solution: Just smile. I learned a long time ago that the simple act of smiling can lift someone’s spirits.

Smiling is also contagious. I have smiled at scowly faced people on the street and to my surprise, they suddenly smile back.

I once had someone stop to “thank me” for smiling at them. Try it, it really works.

7- You Are Super Predictable and Never Spontaneous

You are a boring person if you are super predictable

I love seeing life through my children’s eyes because like most kids, they are naturally curious and seek out new experiences.  Well, it’s also fun to be around adults with these qualities. Not only does it make you less predictable, you can also become more spontaneous and less likely to do the same thing day in and day out.

Contrast that to someone who is ALWAYS predictable and nothing new ever happens to them.  No one will ask “Gee, I wonder what so and so person is up to”. They won’t have to because they will know that you always do the same thing every day. Now that I think about it, isn’t that what a rut looks and feels like? Who wants to be in a rut?

Examples of some ways you can be predictable are…..

  • Everything you do has to be planned to the “T”
  • You always take the practical safe route in life.
  • You say NO more than you say YES

Solution: If you are this type of boring and predictable person, do more things you would not normally do. Start right now. Go and find something new to do and just go do it. Say “YES” more. Stop planning everything. Now go.

8- You Work All The Time

Sign: When you make work your life’s purpose your almost guaranteed to be a boring person because. Who wants to hang out with someone who enjoys working more than they like laughing and having fun. I’m all for working hard. Hell, I work my ass off but if that is all I did, my family would probably disown me.

Solution: Spend more time outside of work. I’m not talking about vegging out in front of the T.V. like some tired overworked couch potato. I’m talking about living your life to the fullest and doing all those things you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet. Don’t let work define who you are.

9-You have No Hobbies

to be a boring person never do anything new

Some hobbies put you in contact with people who are passionate: hobbies like sailing, golfing, knitting, mine-craft, cooking and even board games. When you are around other people who are passionate about a subject, any subject such as a hobby, it becomes part of who you are. It can even give you purpose and make you feel more fulfilled about your life.

Solution: Get a hobby. Then meet other people who enjoy that same hobby. There are lots of clubs for various hobbies you can join. Just look online or in your local paper.

10-You are A Hermit

TO BE A BORING PERSON BECOME A HERMIT

A hermit’s life is not only very sad but it’s also uninteresting, monotonous and plain.

A hermit is a slave the four walls of their house. Never experiencing all that life has to offer.

Solution: Get out there and live your life.

FINAL WORD OF ADVICE..

TO BE LESS BORING IS EASY. JUST TRY SOMETHING NEW

It’s easy to be less boring.

It just involves a little change and an adventurous spirit.

Yes, you may have to go a little outside of your comfort zone to try new things, meet new people or see new places. But it’s worth it. give it a try.

One baby step at a time. You can start small and do something new everyday.

Before you know it, people will call you “THE FUN ONE”

Paul

Hi Annie,

Couldn’t help but check out your blog because it seems like I keep seeing your comments everywhere I go.

haha I love this topic! Encountering Madam M sounds worse than contracting the plague.

I really don’t like to hang out with people who are really rigid and inflexible. Pretty much the same as your #7, these people become so set in their ways that spontaneity just dies around them

    Annie Andre

    Hello Paul, Nice to meet you. Wherever could you be hanging out? Hmmm :0 I’ve been reading alot lately and always love commenting on peoples blogs.

    I’m totally on board with not hanging with rigid and inflexible people. I’m always working on ways to mix things up a bit. I still have my comfortable routines that make me feel good, but trying new things and just letting go sometimes and trying something new can be exhilarating too.

Meg

I love this! and your family is so precious. You look like you have a lot of fun together and they seem to be the complete opposite of boring. I hope one day when I have children they will live and lead adventurous and fun-filled lives. I agree that having hobbies helps keep the creative juices flowing which leads to lack of boredom. I got rid of my cable TV and I thought I may become bored or sick of reading but I LOVE not having TV. I love that my conversations with friends and coworkers is not focused around the latest sitcom. I love that I don’t feel guilty for missing my favorite show. I will have to figure something out come football season but for now I am enjoying the extra time and fun I have. Continue living your adventurous life….it’s inspiring.
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Courtney Jones Media

Lolz. I am loving your blog Annie. This one is just awesome.
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Investigatrix

Hi Annie,

This is such an awesome post. Most people dont realise how much work and cut off their social life. Definitely recommending it to my fellows….

Investigatrix
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Samantha

Wow, so me! I had a feeling I was boring my friends and family and so instead of asking “Am I boring?” as that would likely result in people giving sympathy and saying “No, just find new friends”, instead I wanted to know of it really was me and how I can change so I searched “My friend is boring” to see what people found boring… This is all me by like 90% as people don’t avoid me, I oddly avoid people as I’m afraid I’ll be boring. I didn’t realize what I downer I was and how much of a hermit I am. I have been complaining a lot too and wondered if that was a factor. As boring people don’t mean to be boring–I’m sure like me, they would change if they knew.

    Annie Andre

    Samantha,
    I wouldn’t worry too much. I used to think i was so boring too. I would avoid people for the same reason as you. What i find that helps is to take a genuine interest in others. When you meet someone, new or an old friend. Ask them about their life. Don’t criticize them, try to see the positive in whatever they say. you will find that by exuding this positive and ccaring behaviour you will begin to have energized coonversations with others and people will love to spend time with you.

aman

i was just getting bored, then i googled ” i m getting bored, what to do? ”
then i saw ur link, boredom just vanished after reading it. really anyone can become boring after inheriting even one of these qualities. :)

AWESOME

hhahahaha wow you’re like, funny and stuff, right?? The best part of this is when you reiterate what every other person in the world says a lot. Really though, this topic is pretty catty. Thanks for making shy/people with social problems feel defective! That’s just great. Sweet. PS. do you know anyone with asbergers? you basically describe the syndrome when you talk about “mme. M”.

    Annie Andre

    I guess I must have aspergers and so does my son because A lot of this applies to me. So do i find it funny? No, i found it debilitating.
    And obviously, if someone has a mental disability or anything else out of their control this article is not meant for them. I can laugh at myself. Can you.
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      Sian

      Annie,

      Your article is rude and insensitive. Unlike you, I don’t try to be something I’m not. I used to be very shy. I overcame this when I got older. People respect me for being me, and no, I do NOT put people to sleep. I get on with loads of people. You should be ashamed for making people feel small. Someone people are talkative, some are not. Shy people do exist and if you find them boring then that is your problem lady not theirs. How you find time to write spiteful articles is beyond vile. Get a life.

      Annie Andre

      Thanks for taking the time to write this comment.
      How do i find the time you ask? Well, boring other people was and still is a stigma that effects me. So in effect writing this article is kind of therapeutic for me in that it helps me help myself while helping other people. Sorry if you were offended by it but that is ok because I cant please everyone all the time but I do my best not to offend people and to try to help people by using personal experiences.If i help just one person who is like me than i am ok with that. If i offended you there is nothing i can do about that.

      And to be honest your comment is kind of hostile and vile and all I can say is “different strokes for different folks”.

      Have a wonderfully non boring day!!
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Bill Smathers

You’re only boring if you don’t like yourself. I can’t think of anything more boring than someone trying NOT to be boring for others.

I like to wear the same clothes. I don’t worry what others think. I could care less.

I like watching tv. I like my routines. If you don’t…meh. That’s your problem for being so predictably “spontaneous”.

Give me a break folks. It’s your life. Live it how you like. If you want people around you, clearly you have to listen to them and connect with them in some way. Other than that….meh. Seek out other so-called boring people and just be happy.

    Annie Andre

    Bill,
    thank you for your valuable input. Obviously you are very happy the way you are. So you don’t need to be reading other peoples point of view.
    although i don’t state it in this article, a lot of the things I point out are things that troubled me about myself. And as far as my routines. I love my routines but i also love to live my life to the fullest. We are all allowed to live our lives the way we want. I know i am..
    Thanks
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anonymously me

i do like the article… went through each and i should say that i am not a boring person, but it’s the other way around… not all, but frequently i meet people that do not interest me.

1-YOU TALK NON STOP ABOUT THINGS THAT ONLY INTEREST YOU.

– maybe i do in a way, but that’s because i’m not interested with the sand and the beach and OMG love & relationship (that over a minute i’d puke) but spark me an interesting conversation about business, psychology. i just prefer “brainy” convos over mundane stuff.

3- YOU ARE REALLY UPTIGHT AND OVERLY SERIOUS

– i am serious and uptight but i laugh a lot – at logical humor, not slapstick.

5-YOU NEVER TRY NEW THINGS OR TRAVEL TO NEW PLACES

– i’d love to, but i don’t have the privilege of time, compared to my lesser income generating peers who don’t even own a business (makes me wonder why they do it when they have to run it on credit cards… i can pay cash, but i don’t)

7- YOU ARE SUPER PREDICTABLE AND NEVER SPONTANEOUS

Wear the same style clothes, listen to the same music, eat the same food, ALWAYS. – sorry, it’s called preference.

Everything you do has to be planned to the “T” – because i am almost OCD and i hate disorganized and untimely people

You always take the practical safe route in life. – because that gets me to where i am now

You say NO more than you say YES – i say YES when it’s logically reasonable.

8- YOU WORK ALL THE TIME

– unlike some people i have a dream. some want a family and kids. i want a maserati, lugagges and luggages of vuitton that some cannot afford in their entire life unless they pay credit. and whoever says money can’t buy happiness, who says poverty can? and they can call me materialistic, vain, self-centered all they want… i have it, they don’t.

9-YOU HAVE NO HOBBIES

– of course i have. so as long as it doesn’t get myself dirty. i love jewelry. that’s a hobby – and a cash on hand. i may get lost in the carribean and know i’d get back home in no time.

Daniel McBane

I’ve probably sat next to most of these character traits on long bus rides….
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astrosleuth

I just want to say….I may be the ‘boring’ person you are describing. I also have Asperger’s Syndrome and I am shy as fuck to top it all off. Having a routine keeps me sane as I also have deep anxiety and social anxiety issues. But, my passions are interesting to me even if they’re dull to someone else. I’d like to step out of my comfort zone one day, or at least once in a while but I have anxiety issues as I said.

What about people like myself with social disabilities who find it hard to meet people let a lone DO stuff with them? I struggle day to day with this along with the full awareness that yes, I may be ‘boring’. I’ve been called the dreaded ‘B’ word before and even a few relatives think I’m ‘boring’. I know my sister and her friends think I’m ‘boring’ and none of her friends would ever date me. I have ‘disabled’ marked on me since being diagnosed with AS over 10 years ago.

I struggle just to ‘get by’, financially and socially. I can’t just ‘hop a plane’ to Timbucktoo tomorrow. Anxiety. Time. Resources. Part of me never chose to be like this.

astrosleuth

    Annie Andre

    Hi Astrosleuth,
    One of my sons has Aspergers syndrome also so i understand your struggles. I think that being boring is subjective. I am not a doctor but I know that for my own son who has aspergers that it helps to keep him engaged with activities that he enjoys and excels at and with people who have similar interests. There is no fix really except to just be who you are and accept your limitations. I find that i myself am boring at times but i am ok with that. I do my best to be the best person i can be and that is good enough for me. Not everyone will find me interesting but others might. Hope that makes sense..to you..
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Batians

That means am not a boring person..hulaaaa. Well, as long as the working too much does not carry much weight as am the typical workaholic guy.
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