If you have ever asked yourself, "Am I a boring person?", "Why am I so boring?" or wondered "how you can lead a more exciting life", I have got some great examples based on my own experiences that just might help you unlock this mystery that plagues so many people. Sometimes the best way to figure things out is to actively analyze our lives and ourselves and seek the advice and examples from others. At least it does and did for me. With that said, here is what I have discovered about being and feeling less boring. I hope they help you identify some things in yourself and your life you would like to change.
What makes one person boring and another person NOT boring?
You’re not supposed to care what other people think but let’s face it…..Some of us (myself included) do care. You don’t want to bore the hell out of other people or have a life so uninteresting that even YOU find your own life boring.
The problem is, you have no idea how to be or feel less boring.
So what’s the answer?
Now before you start reading, let me first clarify that I AM NOT AN EXPERT on the subject matter of being charismatic and truth be told, I AM NOT THE MOST EXCITING PERSON IN THE WORLD.
My story of being and feeling like a boring person
Trying to be and feel less boring, is an issue which I have struggled with ever since I was a child. I think worrying if I was boring other people or not must have been what made me so damn shy. Shy to the point where It was debilitating. I would freeze or become silent because I was so afraid of what other people might think of me. Later on in life, as a teenager, it just became normal for me to shrink into the background or act awkward in social settings.
I was the kid who ate lunch alone
I used to dread the bell to eat lunch because I had no friends to eat with. My only and best friends were two neighbourhood girls. I am not saying I had no friends, because I did. But they didn’t actively seek me out like they did the other kids. I was always forgotten about. If i wasn’t there, no one missed me. No one looked forward to seeing me. I was all to aware of just how boring I was and it bothered me. . I looked on with envy at other kids who in my eyes were like social honey attracting all the other kids with their sweet and fascinating personalities.
It wasn’t until I was in my late teens and then a young adult when I started to take action and actually try to feel more secure about myself. I did this by actively looking at what other people were doing and de-engineering them. In essence, I tried to figure out what made them more interesting and tried to adopt or emulate them in one way or another.
Trial and error
This method has worked out pretty well for me.
I have travelled to over 25 countries, including a 3,5 years living in Japan in my early 20’s and more recently (now, I am living in the south of France with my husband and children). I have experienced things during my travels that people only dream of. I have tried new things, ,new foods, learned new skills that my mind told me I could never do or that I would hate and ended up loving them.
I am still not the life of the party but, my efforts in trying to be and do more have shaped me into who I am and given me the confidence to feel less boring. I am pretty happy about the life I have led and the life that I will lead going forward.
The point I am trying to make is, if you suffers from feeling boring like I did, or you find your life boring, it is going to take a lot of effort to change that. You have to really put yourself out there, try and do everything you can. It might take years.
But enough about me. Here are some of the things I have learned.
10 Signs You Are A Boring Person And How To Be A Less Boring Person?
- I did a bunch of rather unscientific research to find the answer to my question on what makes someone boring:
- I read a bunch of articles and books on the topic of becoming a more interesting and engaging person.
- I also asked a bunch of people what they thought made someone boring and others not boring.
- I even conducted a bunch of experiments applying what I learned to see if I could be less boring and more interesting to others.
Below are some of my findings condensed into a list of the top 10 things I have found that make a person boring. Are you guilty of any of these?
1-You Talk Non Stop About Things That Only Interest You.
Sign: No one likes to be on a one sided conversation and nothing screams BOOOORING more than talking non stop about subjects that other people couldn’t care less about. Like your mothers collection of 300 gnomes or how much money you saved using coupons. Sure it can be interesting for about a minute or two but then you move on.
Usually this type of person requires no response. They just start talking and talking with no end in sight. The listener doesn’t even need to respond. They can just nod their head and say Uhh huh, uh huh.
Solution: If you notice that you are doing all the talking and the other person has gone quiet, stop talking immediately. Try to engage the other person and ask them questions and just listen.
Conversely, if you are trapped by this boring person, there is not much you can do except excuse yourself abruptly from the conversation. Another tactic might be to change the topic to something equally boring. Good luck…
2- You Are A Total Downer
Sign: Let’s face it, no one wants to be around downers.
If you’re the type of person who constantly sees the glass as half empty and you talk about really depressing things all the time then you might be depressing and boring at the same time.
I once knew someone like this. I tried to make it work but I was exhausted by our relationship. I had to constantly lift her spirits. Whenever I met her, I was always sad, or sombre and rarely laughed.
Examples of depressing conversation killers
- “Oh Annie, I wish I was smarter”
- “Life is so hard”
- “why does everyone hate me”?
- “I have no friends”.
- whaa whaa whaa, oh woes me!!
Solution: If you know a downer in your life, the best you can do is either be blunt with them and tell them how they are depressing you. If you are like me, you will try to be there for this friend for as long as humanly possibly to support that person. In the end, if their negativity is effecting you than you might have to end the relationship or distance yourself from that person like I had to do.
If it is you who is this type of Debbie downer, consider changing your outlook on life. Being positive in life will also help lift your spirits. Try to see the positive. What’s that old saying? If life gives you lemons than make lemonade?
3- You Are Really Uptight And Overly Serious
Sign: Fun people like to laugh, tell jokes and let loose. It only makes sense that to be really boring you have to be and do the opposite.
This type of person is super RIGID and worried about PROTOCOL. God forbid if they ever let loose. Here are some examples of really uptight statements.
- “I’m too mature to do that”
- “What are all these damn kids doing in this park”
- “Someone needs to shut that kid up” ( on an air plane during landing a baby is crying)
- “Don’t bother falling in love, it all ends up in divorce anyways”
Solution: Let loose have some fun. You’ll know you are having fun when you laugh and don’t care who sees.
If you know someone who is uptight and a buzz kill than try to lead by example. Sometimes your upbeat and fun attitude can be contagious.
4-You Complain About Everything
Sign: This type of person sees fault in everything and is not afraid to let you know.
There is no joy or fun in being around someone like this because you feel like you have to walk on egg shells around them.
Here are some great examples of what a complainer might say.
- “The music is too loud” (it’s almost at the lowest setting)
- “what’s that horrible smell? “ It’s butter, garlic and shallots in a white wine sauce.
- “Stop walking on the grass, you are crushing it” (It’s a pique-nique area)
- “You eat too much”
- “you never eat” (the next day the same person said this to me)
Solution: I have no idea how to handle this type of venomous personality. In my experience, this person is out to make themselves look or feel good, by seeing the bad in others or putting others down. I usually try to be very careful around this person and I try reducing the amount of time I spend with them. If that is not possible than have a good outlet to recharge and re-boot.
5-You Never Try New Things or Travel To New Places
Sign: Fun, non-boring people tend to do and see a lot of new things. They talk about those things and are so filled with joy because their life is so satisfying.
A boring person doesn’t do much outside of their necessary routine. Work, eat sleep. It’s hard to talk to someone who hasn’t had a lot of experience outside of their normal routine.
Solution: The solution is simple. Get out and do some stuff. Anything.
- Go to the museum
- Check out a new ethnic restaurant
- Go to the gym or learn to play squash
- Travel to new places, live abroad or spend a year in France like we did.
6- You Never Ever Smile
Sign: When I think about people who are fun in my life, I picture them smiling, laughing and just being jovial.
When I think of someone boring, I picture scowling faces and furrowed eyebrows.
Which one are you? All Smiles or all Frowny?
Solution: Just smile. I learned a long time ago that the simple act of smiling can lift someone’s spirits.
Smiling is also contagious. I have smiled at scowly faced people on the street and to my surprise, they suddenly smile back.
I once had someone stop to “thank me” for smiling at them. Try it, it really works.
7- You Are Super Predictable and Never Spontaneous
I love seeing life through my children’s eyes because like most kids, they are naturally curious and seek out new experiences. Well, it’s also fun to be around adults with these qualities. Not only does it make you less predictable, you can also become more spontaneous and less likely to do the same thing day in and day out.
Contrast that to someone who is ALWAYS predictable and nothing new ever happens to them. No one will ask “Gee, I wonder what so and so person is up to”. They won’t have to because they will know that you always do the same thing every day. Now that I think about it, isn’t that what a rut looks and feels like? Who wants to be in a rut?
Examples of some ways you can be predictable are…..
- Everything you do has to be planned to the “T”
- You always take the practical safe route in life.
- You say NO more than you say YES
Solution: If you are this type of boring and predictable person, do more things you would not normally do. Start right now. Go and find something new to do and just go do it. Say “YES” more. Stop planning everything. Now go.
8- You Work All The Time
Sign: When you make work your life’s purpose your almost guaranteed to be a boring person because. Who wants to hang out with someone who enjoys working more than they like laughing and having fun. I’m all for working hard. Hell, I work my ass off but if that is all I did, my own family would probably disown me.
Solution: Spend more time outside of work. I’m not talking about vegging out in front of the T.V. like some tired overworked couch potato. I’m talking about living your life to the fullest and doing all those things you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet. Don’t let work define who you are.
9-You have No Hobbies
Some hobbies put you in contact with people who are passionate: hobbies like sailing, golfing, knitting, mine-craft, cooking and even board games. When you are around other people who are passionate about a subject, any subject such as a hobby, it becomes part of who you are. It can even give you purpose and make you feel more fulfilled about your life.
Solution: Get a hobby. Then meet other people who enjoy that same hobby. There are lots of clubs for various hobbies you can join. Just look online or in your local paper.
10-You are A Hermit
A hermits life is not only very sad but it’s also uninteresting, monotonous and plain.
A hermit is a slave the the four walls of their house. Never experiencing all that life has to offer.
Solution: Get out there and live your life.
FINAL WORD OF ADVICE..
It’s easy to be less boring.
It just involves a little change and an adventurous spirit.
Yes, you may have to go a little outside of your comfort zone to try new things, meet new people or see new places. But it’s worth it. give it a try.
One baby step at a time. You can start small and do something new everyday.
Before you know it, people will call you “THE FUN ONE”